you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
