Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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