I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
