I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
