I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
