When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do Iβm not made of stone
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize