i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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