Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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