It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
