Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
