My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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