i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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