John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Sext me about skeletons
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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