What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
