"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
