I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
