and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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