just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize