Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
