ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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