You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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