He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
