Sponge bath it is.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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