She said her name was "party"
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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