I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
