Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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