He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
