my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
