He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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