i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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