unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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