i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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