she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
