Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
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he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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