I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Let's get the cat blown out
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
