I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
