You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
