She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
