North Korea, Best Korea!
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
