if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize