there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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