i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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