Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
