Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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