May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
