You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
And then he peed in my hair
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