everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
