I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize