what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
