I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
