so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
