and you said cock pushups were impossible
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
