I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
