it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
