there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
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You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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