I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
