omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
