You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
