you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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