I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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