people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
What changed your mind?
Being sober
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
