after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
We got so high we made milksteak
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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