hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
i now understand why vodka
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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